When we're children, one of our greatest concerns is that we have a collection of soft toys.
Yes, soft toys - the cuddly kind that make your child's room brighter and ensure you never sleep alone. They are our best friends, confidants and we can consider that some become buddies on adventures and in life.
With such characteristics, we can consider that this collection is created according to the connection that the baby or child makes as they spend time together. That's why it's often said that each collection of our soft toys is unique and will depend on the tastes of each child.
One thing we can't deny is that there will always be a favourite soft toy that our baby will take everywhere. And if they don't, they'll feel a deep sense of sadness because it won't be the same. But is it good for the baby to have a favourite teddy? What could its significance be? How long will this relationship last? And what do we do if the teddy gets lost or we forget to bring it somewhere? All of these questions are important to parents and so we thought it would be interesting to understand this relationship and how it is or can be experienced in the day-to-day life of the child and the parents. If it's important for our little one, it will also be important for us as parents.
The context we may have is that the baby can only fall asleep with their favourite toy and takes it everywhere. Now we want to understand how parents can best deal with this situation.
First of all, parents should bear in mind that their favourite toy is very special to the child. When it gets out of the child's reach, is lost or not taken away, it's the end of the world.
This leads us to ask the following question: will this favourite toy become a constant companion? We did our research and tried to understand better. What we realised is that it will depend on how this figure is perceived in the baby's life. If we go back a few years, the importance of the favourite toy was not recognised at all and was seen more as something temporary. Nowadays, the reality is different and, as a result, teddies are seen as extremely important emotionally for babies. It's even considered their best friend, with a familiar smell and its contact conveys an idea of comfort and security to the child.
The favourite toy comes into a child's life between the ages of five months and one year. They usually say it's the least cute teddy in their vast toy collection. Oh and parents, it's your child's choice, so your opinion won't be taken into consideration and will have no influence whatsoever. However, this choice will be made according to a few criteria - the teddy must be soft, good to bite, pleasant to the touch and always have that familiar smell of mum and dad.
The favourite toy plays a hugely important role in the child's life for one simple reason - it's the first object the child really owns. What's more, it helps the baby make that transition between their restricted, controlled environment and the world outside, between what is reality and what might be imaginary, or even between presence and absence. One example we've found and shared with you is the fact that a favourite toy can take the place of the mother when she's away, which makes the baby feel at ease when they're with people other than their mother or father.
But what if our son or daughter doesn't have a favourite toy? Don't worry, it'll be because they didn't think it was necessary to have one. They may have other ways of feeling safe and reassured, such as sucking their thumb or singing their favourite song.
Now that we've tried to understand and explain a child's relationship with their best friend, we want to help parents try to solve problems such as losing their child's favourite toy or possibly forgetting it somewhere. We went in search of the best tips and couldn't help but share with you the possible scenarios that may be associated with our baby's best friend:
- When you've been out all day and your favourite teddy is left at home - first of all, you shouldn't panic; you can make it up to your baby with lots of kisses and cuddles, because after all, the teddy is the mother's substitute; it will be the ideal opportunity for the parents to reclaim their place;
- When our baby's toy is seen by the parents as a piece of waste - well, one thing's for sure, we won't be able to throw it away (or at least it won't be convenient); one possible idea is to repair it, and to do this you'll have to create a little story. We can say that our best friend is ill and had to go to his aunt and uncle's or grandparents' house for a few days - from one moment to the next the toy will be as good as new and will be back in our little one's arms;
- When you lose your child's favourite toy - one solution may be to have its double; however, the child may notice a difference in their new best friend; until then, you can try to see if you can rescue the lost toy and present your child with the double of their favourite toy;
- When the toy is washed and cleaned - the child's best friend should be washed and cleaned regularly; the best time is when the baby doesn't need it; if you can, you can use the washing machine and dryer to make the process more efficient and quicker; until the toy is ready, you can always use its double; don't forget to wash the double as often as you clean the original, so there's a balance of use and they smell the same.
Now that we've shared these tips with you, we think we need to answer an important question that you want to know (and us too) - when will our baby decide it's time to leave his or her partner? Well, we know that this decision will be made when the child feels the time is right. From what we've discovered, we can point to an age between three and six. If the child reaches the age of six and is still very attached to their partner, we can explain to our son or daughter that it's time to give up their favourite toy and keep it in their room. The ideal is to have this conversation little by little, which will allow the child to gradually start letting go of their best friend. And in this way, be able to end another phase in their life.
One thing's for sure, with this topic covered today in this publication, we can realise that this companion will be one of the first relationships our baby will have and create. It's important that this is respected, because it's a very special relationship for our son or daughter. It will be a small and possible beginning of what will be the creation of their future friendships. We're talking about an age when anything is possible and their best friend is their favourite toy.
What about you? How did you react to this stage in your baby's life? What was their favourite toy? Was it difficult to explain that it was time to let go and put away their adventure companion? We want to know your experience. We want to know your opinion.
