From the moment you decide to start a family, it's important to realise that you're going to be responsible for a child and, above all, that you're going to have a relationship and an unbreakable bond. We've already considered here on the blog that this relationship between mother-children and father-children is difficult, because we're talking about something inexplicable that will last a lifetime. Only mums and dads feel it.
The idea of family is defined according to each person's reality, according to what they have always been taught or at least passed on, or according to what we learn through our experiences. We can consider that there is no single definition, just as there is no model of family that is considered right. We have our blood family and, as they say, we have the family we choose.
For us, the family has a great influence on the way we are. The way we see the world starts with what our parents allow us to see and explore. From a certain point forward, we continue to dig deeper, discover and learn new things.
We mustn't forget that it is with our father and mother that we begin to have our first moments of socialisation, and it is they who enable and help us to grow and develop. Both in terms of the basic and necessary conditions for us to grow in a normal and healthy way, and in terms of the conditions that allow us to live in society - education, values and the transmission of knowledge.
Caring for babies and children requires a great deal of availability and, as they grow and develop, they will have different needs. The family will be available to do everything they can to make their baby feel good and happy. This is organised through constant communication between mum and dad, who are the ideal team to meet your little one's needs.
In addition to all these aspects mentioned, one thing we can emphasise is that each family is what each person considers to be a family. When we talk about family models, we could open up a huge amount of time here to deal with this topic. But for today here on the blog, we want to address a topic that we think is interesting and, above all, important to highlight: being a single mum or dad with a baby or child.
It's a subject that is increasingly present in today's reality. We consider the family to be very important for the baby's growth and development, as it is, after all, the baby's safe place of comfort.
A question we're asking today: could being a single mum or dad be a reality that's changing the way we see the family model? Well, it may be changing, because it's something we're starting to see on a regular basis. However, it's certainly a huge challenge and adventure, because there's only one person who will have a doubled role. There are examples of parents who split up, are widowed or single, so they have to look after their children on their own.
One particularity that we have to take into account is that the father+mother pattern is still dominant for children. It's a predominant model for couples (married or not). Many experts reinforce the idea that two parents are better than just one. A father without a mother or a mother without a father are two situations that we still don't know how to deal with. With such characteristics, it was important for us to try to understand these situations, to address them and to share them with you.
The first thing we did was try to understand whether a single-parent family could be ideal. One thing's for sure, it's something that's starting to become quite common, even when we drop our children off at school and realise that we're not the only ones, it makes us think that it's starting to be a situation that includes other realities such as divorced, separated, single or widowed people.
However, this leads us to an important question - how can a single parent fulfil so many roles? Today, this reality is no longer just associated with single women. The number of cases of single fathers living with their children continues to rise. Nowadays, this solitary challenge arises following a separation or divorce. From that moment on, it's up to the father or mother to take care of various matters - bottles, going to work, picking up the child from kindergarten, looking after the house, doing the shopping, and so on.
As human beings, we question many things, one of which is whether we are capable and sure of the roles we play - for example, whether I'm a good husband or wife. However, one role that we will always have to assume and is a bond that is filial is the role of father and mother - you will do anything for the survival of your family.
Sometimes it can be a very complicated reality because it's the result of a separation before or even after the baby is born. There are conflicts, difficulties in sharing custody, all the logistics of having parents living close by, and it can be uncomfortable and strange for a while.
One question that people in this situation of single parenthood ask themselves is whether they are a good parent. Realising if they are doing the right thing for their child. There's this feeling of guilt at not being able to take on and fulfil both roles at the same time. Well, we think you'll always do what's best for your child. There doesn't need to be an imposition of authority when we talk about certain roles.
From the information we've collected and analysed, this feeling is natural, but the normal thing is to maintain a symbiotic relationship between you and the child. That should be our focus, because ideas that might jeopardise our role should be put aside so that we don't have other worries.
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One issue we wanted to touch on here is the fact that there is a greater need to combine and organise work and family life even better. We won't lie, this will be an hard, daily task. It's something mums and dads will have to learn, because in addition to life outside the family, they will have a child who will depend on them and they won't be able to share these responsibilities with their partner.
These kinds of situations require a great deal of effort on the part of a parent, so it's healthy for people to be able to express their difficulties and moments when they lose some motivation and courage. You may even meet people who are going through the same thing, so you won't feel so alone on this journey.
Nowadays, we think it's necessary to normalise and it´s natural these types of models when we talk about the family. What's more, we shouldn't associate certain patterns with types of family that aren't considered "normal", that is, formed with a father and mother. Contexts of violence or criminal behaviour are often associated with single-parent families. We should be careful with these statements and better understand what could trigger such situations.
In order for children to begin to normalise this family situation, we can present other models that our son or daughter can identify with. We need to address these realities earlier and earlier, for the knowledge that we are passing on to future generations and making these issues normal in our society. A parent in this situation will have a lot of courage and will be living a great adventure. We're sure you'll do everything for your children and they'll realise the constant balance you make between your professional and personal life on a daily basis.
Never forget that you are not alone and that you are doing your best to be a good parent to your children.
What about you? Do we have a parent out there with an extended role? How is your single-parenting journey going? What has it brought you? We want to know your experience. We want to know your opinion.
